The Pinched that Stole my Voice

She sat on the front row of the church, week after week, in her Sunday best. She didn’t understand every word the preacher said, but she understood the rules. Sit still. Stay quiet. Don’t fall asleep.  But sometimes, the sermons were long and her little eyes got heavy. And when sleep came, it was quickly interrupted by a sharp, sudden pinch. Her mother’s fingers twisted into her arm like a warning.  Then came the stare— You better not cry.  That day, she didn’t just learn discipline. She learned how to swallow her pain. She learned that to be strong was to be silent. That even when something hurt deeply… You don’t flinch. You don’t speak. You don’t feel.  And this is what silencing your voice can look like:  Saying “I’m fine” when you’re breaking inside Laughing off moments that deeply offend or wound you Overexplaining yourself just to be understood Walking on eggshells in relationships Dimming your light so others don’t feel uncomfortable Avoiding confrontation because your opinion “might start something”  Feeling guilty for having needs Performing strength while privately crumbling Holding tears until your chest feels like it might burst Believing that emotions are weakness and crying is shameful Not speaking up when your boundaries are crossed Believing your truth doesn’t matter unless it’s approved by someone else That little girl didn’t just stop crying— She stopped feeling safe in her own expression.  But healing begins when awareness enters. And now, that woman—me has done the work to unlearn that silence.  I’ve come to understand that strength is not in how much I can hide… It’s in how honestly I can show up.  Crying doesn’t mean I’m falling apart. It means I’m becoming whole again.  My voice is no longer a risk—it’s a return. I cry when I need to. I speak when I must. I rest when I’m tired. And I never again tell myself to "be quiet" just to make someone else comfortable. That little girl who was told not to cry… Now builds a brand that gives other women their voice back.